I’m a worrier by nature. Always have been. Case in Point: One afternoon when I was ten or so I looked visibly upset and my father asked me what was bothering me. My answer? Taxes. Clearly as a ten year old I had very little reason to worry about taxes, but there you have it. I worry about things that are relevant and not, things that could go wrong now or far in the future, things likely and things statistically improbable under any number of circumstances.
Currently I am worrying about my family’s safety (no reason in particular, I always worry about their safety – just a little moreso right now because my parents are in Thailand and them traveling always puts me a little more on edge), about my new pressure cooker exploding in my face, about whether I will ever get enough commitment to move forward on this bottle school project, about the water situation and even about how tightly my Christmas flights are scheduled (meaning any delay would make me miss one…). Yeah, I’m worried about things that won’t even matter until December. I’m a crazy person.
This probably isn’t healthy and I know I spend far more time than I should thinking about the “what ifs” and creating impossible disaster scenarios in my head. And given all the free time and time alone I have here, this propensity is allowed to run rampant. A regular worry, as has probably been made clear in past posts, is that I will reach the end of my two years here and not have accomplished anything – that my work will all be some big failure and waste of time.
Thankfully, my Dad is always there to ease my fears and share some insights. When I was ten he was nice enough to alleviate my tax worries. And when I first shared my fears regarding impending failure as a volunteer his response was succinct and poignant:
“If you fuck this up, ain’t nobody gonna die.”
And, I mean, he would know. As a man who spent many years in the military, he can easily spot the difference.
And, I know, I’ve already written all about how much I look up to my Dad, but I just wanted to take advantage of this Father’s Day (in America… Father’s Day in Guatemala was on Friday…) to thank him, and all the other great Dads out there, for being such incredible role models and for all the words of encouragement, insight and advice.